My in-laws are in from out of state to help me celebrate. My best friend is at the party trying her best to entice aforementioned brother-in-law. I think nothing of the exchange. One week later she calls all aglow because he has taken the step of calling information to get her number and they have spoken long distance. Fast forward again, this time one year during which time she has doggedly pursued him. Her birthday, and she has flown herself out to see brother-in-law. He comes into house carrying huge cookie. She reacts badly, eating disorder and all, but is delighted to see very small engagement ring stuck in center of cookie.

I eat most of cookie thanks to my proclivity towards overeating. Family is stunned, not about me eating cookie, but about surprise engagement. The last few months have been very interesting, to say the least. She has moved (along with her five year old son) cross country to live with him, and they are planning to marry in a few months--get this--on my anniversary. Not that I own that day for time immemorial, but geez! I got the lavender georgette bridesmaid dress yesterday (I'm a real vision in it) so now it is suddenly very real. I know classified information about some of his extracurricular activities, but say nothing as blood is thicker than water. I know all her classified information and have been very honest about it with the in-laws. I find this relationship very threatening. I almost peed a circle around my mother-in-law to mark my territory.

Now my in-laws are paying for the wedding since she is estranged from her parents. To the point that they will not be in attendance at the wedding because it is "too far". My parents would walk through hell to see me be married, but then I guess that's just my family. Anyway, the wedding is coming up and if you're interested I will come on back and let you in on all the dysfunction, intrigue and bizarre behavior that is bound to occur. In the meantime, pray that I don't dehydrate while subsisting on my measly soy shakes in a last ditch effort to shed ten pounds before I have to wriggle into that little lavender number!