*Ryan slaps himself*

I am way to tired to deal with my life right now. Yesterday was way wacky. I am getting allergy attacks out here because of the pollution and I am battling it with some funky meds that are making me sleepy. My job is getting stressful which is bad. I can deal with stress...just not for $11/hour...*grin* I finally get home last night and watched "Wing Commander" (purely for the sake of comedy). It ended up being a lot better than I thought it would be....really interesting production design, but it TOTALLY fell apart at the end. A couple of nights ago I saw "Sixth Sense" with my neighbors...it scared the shit out of me. I was reaching around corners to turn lights on and seeing shadows turn into weird shit. Wow...completely wigged me out. Go see it.

Last night, however, was the topper. My neighbors wanted to buy some grass, so they went away for about an hour and came back around 12:15 am. I decided to smoke with them anyhow, even though I had work in the morning and we giggled and shit until about 1:30 at which point we went to my place to listen to some tunes. We walk in and talk for a minute or so and we all turn around because someone says my name who is NOT one of my neighbors. I freaked...cold chills and everything.

It was Vicki (the one I met Sarah through) standing there like a zombie (a la Sixth Sense) wavering and teetering like she is about to collapse. We didn't hear her open the door and walk in. She is WASTEd drunk. She was out with some friends of hers who were visiting from Minnesota and she got really drunk and got mad at them. Her friends kept her purse (to keep her keys, I suppose) and she somehow got to my place. She had no shoes on and couldn't even talk. I put her in my bed and slept on the couch. I didn't get to sleep until almost 3 am. She walked out in the morning and hasn't even called to thank me today.

I hate babysitting people that A) get drunk and B) get so drunk they do unreal, stupid things that make their friends go WAY out of their way and C) do A and B OFTEN. This girl is fucking bonkers...one of the most selfish people I've ever met. She seems to be a little girl who was just adorable, but has since grown into a woman who is trying to still be that little girl. She is panicking and sucking the life out of her friends and boyfriends. She gives guys blowjobs in exchange for friendships practically...VERY bad scene.

I guess it's one thing if you have a designated driver and tell someone "Hey...I might get blitzed tonight...can I crash on your couch?" or calls and says "Hey...can I crash on your couch? I am wasted and can't get into my house." She just walked right in. If I hadn't been there, I don't doubt she would have walked into my bedroom and fallen asleep. Ugh...alcohol is the dumbest fucking thing. I've never been able to abuse it to that extent. It doesn't make sense to me. I'll have an occasional misjudgment about how much I am capable of handling, but I always find a corner and chill until I get my wits about me.

Needless to say, I am bombed tired....OH WAIT! Update on the "Val" situation. I finally got a hold of her and she spent a half an hour on the phone with me day before yesterday. She was sitting by her pool, smoking cigs and drinking liquor. She had rehearsal in three hours. I had to sober her up OVER THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddamnit...raining and pouring. She was crying and talking about how worthless she was. I think I was a little hard on her. I've always been very "no you're not...you're amazing" which she is but this is it! I leaned in on her and told her to stop feeling sorry for herself. She is an actress (thus the rehearsal) and she is whimpering that she isn't pretty and bla bla bla...I used to tell her "no no no...you are...you are beautiful" but she needs to know this for herself. I finally got her moving and went online. I found about 6 actresses (including Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Frances McDormand, Rene Russo and several more) who didn't even shoot their first film until after the age of 26. Val is 27 and thinks her life is over. I don't know. I can't responsibility for people like this any more. I have a very difficult time putting my foot down and people know this and they abuse me. She's hit a stopping point though...I am not going to let her suck the life out of me, but I will be there to help her...but only if she wants HELP, not just an ego stroke. Bah...enough...probably going to see her play tonight. No...I am not sleeping with her. I know well enough not to open that can of worms.