Needless to say, I am terrifically unhappy by the time I get home. Oh...and I had to go into overdraft to get enough gas to get back. I don't get more money in my account until Tuesday, so I am fucked for the weekend.

I finally _DO_ get home and find a message on my answering machine saying from my temp agency telling me that I am done with my assignment at this place I've been working at for the last nine days. (i.e.-I've been fired) The woman at the temp agency tells me that they have a job for Monday which pays much better, etc...(anyone want to make a bet on whether or not this is a snowjob?) So, I am fucked out of work...I don't even know the reason for it. I have a CD there and files on the computer and it also has passwords programmed in it for my private email account. I guess I'll have to go back and take care of it, which I am dreading.

Okay...so I go next door and my neighbor is gone for the night working a pick up shift and his girlfriend is in a rotten mood, but I hang out with her anywhere. We smoked a bowl and hung out and I finally forgot about this shit for a second. I walked back into my apartment, which had turned into a verifiable pigstye from the last TWO days. I have only pasta left to eat, not that I have been eating anything else anyway. I crawl into bed and read for a little while and finally fall into a fitful, nightmare-filled slumber, only to wake to a top-loading garbage truck loading garbage right next to my window at noon sharp, today.

I turn on my pocket organizer...(one of those electronic ones)...and it gives the message "Loading...please wait". I've never seen this message and it's hung there. All of my addresses, birthdays, phone numbers, schedules...EVERYTHING...gone. I have a lot of it backed up on paper, thank god, but nothing from when I arrived in California until currently.

The only thing I could do was go across the street and sit down at a seat in the cyber cafe and write this. I don't know what to do. I've been so positive and everything has been going more or less well. So, all I can do for the entire weekend is clean my apartment, read, watch tv and rollerblade. Maybe that's a sign from the almighty that I need to stay home...very subtle, Lord. *wink* So this qualifies as my awful, terrible, no good, very bad day. I don't get them often, but when they arrive, they arrive fully loaded and embark quickly like a platoon of marauding gremlins tearing my life into tiny pieces for a while and I end up reconstructing for a few weeks.

Now, more than ever, I need school to start. Oh, and a few other cherries on my weekend: Sarah is travelling in Europe for 3 weeks, I am smoking more than I ever have (which I didn't tell her before she left) and Vickie STILL hasn't called to thank me for letting her stay at my place on such short notice. I have no one to talk to out here and all of the numbers I have for my friends out east and at home are outdated. Needless to say, this weekend is trying me somehow.

I was reading "The Art of Happiness" last night by the Dalai Lama and he said something very telling. He said that when we begin to feel as though life is treating us somehow unfairly, we strip ourselves of the power to be able to change it. I believe that a majority of my life is fantastic, a majority of the time. My Karma (to use a Buddhist term, which he talked about a lot) packs a wallop and comes in like a tsunami to break upon my life. It's the same feeling I had when I let go of a balloon at the age of four or watched a sand castle I'd built eaten my the tide. I feel helpless. No, I am not feeling suicidal, just terribly depressed and unhappy. Anyone have a word of advice? maybe just a good story to cheer me up?