Overnight Guest's Journals - The Unreal World

August 19, 1999

My weekend? Got worse...I finally started work today THURSDAY. My temp agency kept throwing me nickel and dime shit, so I finally went out and did some looking around for another agency and was pleasantly surprised to find some good ones around. When I was at one of them, I met this beautiful woman that I flirted with a bit...turns out she's a SECOND YEAR in my graduate program....DOH! Shit...well...lucky I didn't find out until AFTER she left the office.

Watched "Varsity Blues" last night. (I needed some mental downtime, and I need to know movies even when they are schlock...) It was about what I expected it to be...except for "Dawson"'s cheesy response to the girl covered in whipped cream. Dude...her boyfriend has an injured leg...even IF he finds out, he won't be able to chase you for a few MONTHS! Unfreakin real....*grin*

Went to the beach yesterday for a bit...not much to speak of. Been laying off the hooch a bit. I've recently realized that I haven't had a drink since I got back from Atlantic City in July...around the 12th. Wow...well, I never was much of a drinker anyhow.

I got some bad news recently...one of the 1st years who was supposed to start the program with me...we'll call him "Bob"...no...that's a shitty name to give someone, even a pseudonym...how about "Howard"...heh...love it....so Howard calls me and tells me he's just talked with the head of acting in the program and decided not to go due to financial concerns. I couldn't believe it. EIGHT HUNDRED people auditioned to get into this school and EIGHT made it in, and this guy is blowing it off due to money?!!!! Oyvey...we talked for about an hour and a half and he went away to think. This was probably Monday.

He calls me back this afternoon to tell me he's decided to go...he calls the head...and the head tells him the spot has been given away. Guy was wrecked. Well...that's the shitty thing about this business. No one's THAT special...if you take the time to think, the opportunity will disappear...only stars and "ol' diehards" have that luxury.

I would kill to be an "ol' diehard". That's all I want. I don't want fame, I don't want fortune. I just want the respect of my peers and to be greatly in demand for great supporting parts...like:

J.T. Walsh (Rest in Peace)

Joan Allen

Ben Kingsley

Tobey Maguire

Oliver Platt

Stanley Tucci

Wow...this list could go on and on...but it won't. Anyway...I am $30 in the hole in my checking account...until NEXT FRIDAY. *sigh* One of these days I won't have to worry, right? Shit...I have had some of the best times in my life on -$30...right? Shit...l8rs.